Let's stop pretending we're all ok

Can we talk about something for a minute?

We're all suffering right now. We're all hurting. Because life is hard. It just is.

Sometimes we feel like we shouldn’t say this, not when we aren’t even living through some of the horrors we’re watching humanity face. At least that’s what I say to myself constantly, which then makes me feel guilty for complaining and thinking my life is hard, which then makes me feel shame, which then makes me close myself off to the love and support I could be receiving, which then reinforces my religious wounding that says you need to be perfect to receive love from above, which then reinforces my trauma pattern that says I am alone and no one is coming to save me and I have to handle everything on my own, which then reinforces the feeling that life is hard. And around and around we go. I used to think that someone, somewhere had the answers, and if I kept searching and pushing and trying harder I’ll eventually crack the code and come out the other side. And I used to believe that whatever answers I have I need to share, because … well, see my trauma patterns above. Sometimes I feel like I’m close, sometimes I feel like I’ve found the answers, but eventually I land in the place I started out from. And around and around we go.

My only solace is that although I feel alone, I know I'm really not.

And not just because I have friends on the other side, but because I’m not the only human going through this circus we call life. The older I get the more I realize that this is how it is for most of us. This is the point of human life: to experience challenges of stamina, faith, and mastery. With maybe some love and joy sprinkled in between.

Life is just hard. Whether we’re knee-dip in sh*t or watching it from afar, it’s just hard.

This is why, if you've been following me for a while, you've seen me pull back more and more when it comes to offering my services as a healer. When I began that path, I was still living with the mindset ingrained in me by religion and new-age spiritual teachings: that if you're suffering it's because you're doing it wrong, but don't worry, someone out there can fix you, and if you just push hard enough you will find a way to be perfect and ascend to a place where nothing can hurt you ever again. Well. Not only was that a lot to live up to as a healer, it's a lot to expect of everyone else. Because it's just not real. I'm sorry to burst any bubbles, but it's time that we as a spiritual community come clean and see the truth for what it is. Humans are flawed. Life is painful. Sometimes we're gonna get our asses kicked. But it's not because we did anything wrong. It's because that's the nature of the game. You're not doing it wrong, you're doing it just right.

Life is is not meant to be lived perfectly; it's meant to be lived in all its raw and painful glory. That's where the good stuff is. That's where we earn our wisdom, our compassion, our freedom from broken mindsets, our ability to sit with those who mourn, our ability to get tough and try again. That's what life is really all about.

So it’s ok to feel pain. It’s ok to not have the answers. It’s ok to not always be the strong one. It doesn’t feel good, but it’s ok. Because sometimes the healthiest thing we can do is sit down and cry. Sometimes it’s the only thing we can do.

But at least you'll know you're not alone. We're all falling apart together.

Because that's what it means to be human ... and one day, we'll find a way to piece ourselves back together again.